elderhood as window of opportunity


Since childhood, windows of opportunity have commanded my attention. When I was six, my mother’s death closed down my time with her...forever.

Another window concerned math studies. It began in middle school, when algebra made no sense to me. My father was a professor of applied mathematics, so I turned to him for help. But he grew frustrated and declared, “You have NO math ability!”

That verdict weighed on me for years. In college, I dreaded the calculus classes required for my biology major, but I gradually demonstrated exceptional ability. I often scored far higher than everyone else in my math and physics classes. Yet because it took years to build up my confidence, I was close to graduating before I realized how this gift pointed toward a career in mathematics.

By then, it seemed too late. My dad told me that the best analytical work is done early in life. Einstein is the classic example—being only twenty-five during his "miraculous year." I was already twenty-one before I realized math was both doable and fun. The window seemed closed.

That haunted me after spinal problems ended my surgical career in my early forties. I fantasized about how things might have gone had my dad been more patient, if he'd helped me discover my gift earlier. This was, of course, a painful and pointless exercise. But it deepened my awareness of the windows in our lives.

Yet another example came as I tried to build a second career in psychotherapy. Many people become therapists in midlife, and that added life experience can be a profound asset in counseling others. On paper, I looked like an ideal candidate, but my health problems made therapy work problematic. As I aged into my sixties without making the shift, I felt another window closing.

Then something magical happened. As the therapy window closed, a spiritual window opened. Meditation and contemplative practice gave my life meaning. They helped me view my failings in a kinder, less personal light. I began to understand myself and others with more acceptance, compassion, and wisdom. Everything that had once seemed difficult began to feel like guidance—and that sense of guidance helped me cultivate faith. As a result, I feel in tune with life for the first time ever. Just as the prime window for mathematics is young adulthood, and a good one for therapy is midlife, the best window for spiritual growth may well be late adulthood.

That has been my experience, but the conclusion is debatable. Neither the Buddha nor Christ were senior citizens when they began spiritual leadership. Nor was Billy Graham. Nor were Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jack Kornfield, and many others who brought mindfulness and yoga to the West as young adults. Yet spiritual growth and spiritual leadership are different things, however much the latter depends on the former. For me, the very factors that make aging difficult also make it a rich time for spiritual growth, which was a key motivation for the Spirituality of Aging Club.

There are not many arenas that favor the elderly. Old age is not a classic time for mathematical breakthroughs, and it certainly isn't for athletics. Elderhood was once thought to enhance statesmanship, but current geopolitics give reason for doubt. Retirement brings many advantages, but it shuts an important window. One of the main challenges of aging is the closing of so many windows, and it plays a role in how our society devalues the elderly.

The Spirituality of Aging Club is my answer to both problems. How wonderful that aging opens this window for spiritual growth—one of the few domains in life of enduring, universal value!

I invite you consider how, for you, later life opens a unique window for understanding, pursuing, and embodying spiritual values. 


Sample list of spiritual values encouraged by aging:


Do these or any other spiritual values feel easier as you age?